My ears and eyes are burning!

During a recent job I had to cut out objectionable material from movie trailers that are going to to be available on cable TV. Here is the list of objectionable things they handed me. Basically I was making sure the trailers would be okay for a 5 year old to watch and wouldn't offend anyone. Some of these are pretty funny. My favorites are in bold and italics.

SEX
No nudity
No hands on breasts
No rubbing body parts
No thong bikinis
No excessive cleavage
No underside/or side of breast showing
Close-ups should not have appearance of nudity
No suggestively eating fruit...or whatever
No ecstasy expressions
No writhing
No headbacks, arch necked in obvious ecstasy
Not too many corsets, lingerie in a row
No lesbian scenes (implied or otherwise)
No bestiality
No necrophilia
No homosexual scenes

VIOLENCE
No bullets to bodies
No stabbing
No more than two kicks or punches in a row
No bodies on fire
No disgusting/gross dead bodies
Not too much blood on face
No pounding/smashing of heads
No head-crunching
No running over of body
No electric shocking
No examples of violence that would give someone an idea to do the same thing (i.e. throwing a blow dryer into a bathtub)
No guns to head
No knife carving into skin
No drilling to teeth or body parts
No blood oozing
No needles in skin
No drinking alcohol
No irresponsible calls for intoxication

Metal On Metal It's What I Crave!

Do yourself a favor and see this movie!!


In the mean time here is a song by Anvil to enjoy.


Here are the lyrics to Metal on Metal. YOU'RE WELCOME.
Metal on metal
It's what I crave
The louder the better
I'll turn in my grave

Metal on metal
Ears start to bleed
Cranking it up
Fulfilling my need

Metal on metal
Shakin the place
Blows back your hair
Caves in your face

Metal on metal
Feeling the grind
Up go the hammers
A victim to find

Metal on metal
Heads start to bang
Denim and leathers
Chains that clang

Keep on rockin
Keep on rockin
To this metal tonight
Keep on pounding
Keep on pounding
Join the heavy metal fight

Metal on metal
Gets you so high
Excitement and action
Won't pass you by

Metal on metal
The hardened breed
True to the end
A fire to feed

Metal on metal
Heat starts to rise
Kickin it out
With screams and cries

Metal on metal Never will die
Parties and concerts
Keep it alive

Metal on metal
It's the only way
To hell with tomorrow
Let's live for today

Someone Stoped Me On The Street and Asked If I Was Jewish

My life for the 1st month. (Thanks goes out to the Apt.308 crew for letting the living-room become my room)

My name is Dale, but you have to call me Dragon

If only it was a time machine



Cheers

I wish I was smart enough to do something like this

I especially like what he wrote on the "For" line

Thanks failblog.org
cheers!

NYC, home of the dumbest pet owners I've ever seen

I've seen some ridiculous shit while living in San Francisco, but apparently I had to wait until I moved to the other side of the country to see a woman pushing her small dog in a stroller specifically made for dogs. Yep you read that right, a stroller specifically made for dogs.

Exhibit A:



There is even a website called Just Pet Strollers. People can pay up to $300 for the stupid things. I've got to tip my hat the the makers of these strollers because they found a way to actually sell a product that is completely pointless. Man people are dumb!! Do you really think your dog wants to be pushed in a stroller? The answer is Fuck No! That dog would rather be on a leash dragging your stupid ass into on-coming traffic so he can be rid of you and go have some real fun running around in the park. It's important to realize that these people are actually out there and that they procreate. Perhaps we can hope that maybe they'll use the stroller for both their babies and canines. Maybe even at the same time. At least then the dog might have something to gnaw on while it's getting pointlessly pushed in a stroller.

Cheers.

Arod admits to steroids

Wow who could have seen this coming?

Oh wait, I DID!!!!! I've been saying it for years. When anyone would bring up Barry Bonds and steroids, I'd bring up Alex Rodriguez. I'm an SF Giants fan, and often I've found myself having many conversations that have gone something like this:
"How do you feel about Bonds doing steroids?"
I'd reply, "It sucks, but you know what? A lot of other players in baseball also do steroids, he's not the only one. So I don't have a problem with his homerun record."
"Yeah but there's going to be an Astrix with his record."
"Well then there should also be one for Arod because that guy definitely uses steroids as well." And people would be surprised that I would say that. Well a few weeks ago I was proven right. I've always been a big baseball fan so I get bummed when I hear about this crap. But what do you expect from a sport that claims to have a strong policy on drugs but then only gives players a slap on the wrist. Either baseball will clean up it's act or we'll get used to it. And yes I'm a little happy to see Arod give the proverbial finger to all those people who didn't believe me and thought he was clean.

One more thing, it takes more than lots of muscle to be a great hitter in baseball.