Rig Of The Day!

Turns out that yesterday I had the "Rig of the Day" over at FinalCutters.com




http://www.finalcutters.com/content/humble-beginnings


It was part of a drawing they had going for some super awesome editing gear. I didn't win but it's pretty funny to see my little editing sweet on that website. hahaha

Dear Hipsters

This was just too good not to repost. A friend of mine found it on craigslist. It is dead-on. DEAD-ON.

Dear Women of Williamsburg - m4w - 26 (Williamsburg)
Date: 2009-08-03, 5:12PM EDT
Reply To This Post

Dear Women of Williamsburg,

Hello. I see you a lot, on the streets, in the bars, on the subway.
I've noticed a trend that's been going on for a while now that I need to be perfectly honest about:
Those big vintage Grandma glasses don't look good.
Not at all.
Look, I understand you people all want to stand out in some way. It is Williamsburg, and the trend these days seems to involve looking like as much of a jackass as possible in the hopes that some stupid accessory you have will become a new trend.
But the glasses....
I've seen too many good looking women whose looks were marred by the ridiculous glasses.
I get that it's ironic. You found the frames at a thrift store, or antique store, or relative's basement, and said, "Oh my God! This looks so terrible! Awesome!" and you either got prescription frames put in or don't even need corrective lenses.
Once again, I get that it's ironic, but it looks like shit.
This is a true missed connection, because when I see a girl wearing stupid glasses, I don't bother to try to get to know her. Maybe I would've said hello, we would've hit it off, and gotten married and lived happily ever after, but I saw the glasses and said "She chose to leave the house with those on her face. I have nothing to do with her." I really hate not giving people a fair chance from the getgo, I really do, but what else am I to do?
It's just been bugging me for a while. I'm wondering when this is going to blow over, but I just keep seeing more and more. Between that and the "spandex pants + torn up baggy shirt because I want to look like an extra from that movie Valley Girl" look, I kind of wish I was blind.
I don't want to move. I pay $600 a month in rent and have a 20 minute commute to work every day. I do like certain bars in Williamsburg, and certain people too, and I've been here for many years. So I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
You people can choose, however, to wear less retarded outfits and accessories. Maybe just try to look like a human being instead of a cartoon character. Please?
So let's make a deal. You stop looking ridiculous, and I'll stop pointing and laughing hysterically every time I see you.

Thank you,
A concerned citizen

The World Has Proven Me Wrong Once Again

If who've ever had experience driving a truck while towing a boat or trailer you will probably appreciate this.

While sitting in a coffee shop in Brooklyn this morning, I witnessed a big rig truck (a 10-wheeler I think) pull off a flawless 3-point turn in the middle of an intersection. He didn't go up on the curb, hit the trashcan on the sidewalk, or hit any of the parked cars. He also didn't hold up traffic (I know that for a fact because in New York if you hold up traffic you get honked at relentlessly while some fat asshole gets a little closer to giving himself a coronary because he can't stand to wait at the stoplight for a few seconds longer).

Anyways, this guy's 3-point turn was quite a sight. Usually I think that I'm the only driver out there worthy of a driver's license but today I will gladly share that title with that guy.

Cheers.

Creation was easy...filmmaking is hard!

AUDIENCE OF ONE playing in NYC!!

I worked on this film for about 5 months a couple years back. If you're in the area you should check it out. You will have plenty to talk about after the film, I promise. Time Out New York gives it 4 Stars
Time Out New York Film Review

AUDIENCE OF ONE, the multiple-award winning documentary directed by Michael Jacobs, comes to the Big Apple for a week run at the historic Anthology Film Archives. Join the director for introductions and Q&A's at two shows a night the first weekend, and come back for this AMAZING doc the whole week long.

Where: Anthology Film Archives (32 2nd Ave @ 2nd St., NYC)
When: May 8th - May 14th. Screening 7pm & 9pm nightly, with an additional 5pm screening on Saturday and Sunday

DVDs with loads of special features will be available for sale opening weekend at a discount. Please support independent film and come check out this amazing documentary. You will not be disappointed!

Tickets available at the box office only. Go to http://anthologyfilmarchives.org for more information!

About the film:
AUDIENCE OF ONE is the ceaselessly engaging chronicle of Richard Gazowsky, a charismatic Pentecostal pastor who receives a vision from God. Through what he deems a "prophetic whisper", The Studio in the Sky instructs him to shoot a multi-million dollar sci-fi/religious epic, sending him and his followers on a journey of extreme faith.

With the support and inexperienced assistance of his family and congregation, the energetic and blindingly sincere Gazowsky shepherds his delusions of grandeur from San Francisco to Italy to shoot GRAVITY: THE SHADOW OF JOSEPH, complete with costumes, stunts and special effects. But their vision of "Star Wars meets The Ten Commandments" shares much more with AMERICAN MOVIE and LOST IN LA MANCHA, as the production increasingly veers off it's divine plan.

Award-winning filmmaker Michael Jacobs' scrupulously nonjudgmental chronicle of Gazowsky and his flock going all out with a massive, $100 million film production is full of humor and pathos, and what transpires is a remarkable story of obsession, faith and delusion.

WINNER - Special Jury Award, SXSW Film Festival
WINNER - Beyond Belief Award, AFI/SILVERDOCS
WINNER - Audience Award, San Francisco Documentary Film Festival
OFFICIAL SELECTION - New Directors/New Films

My ears and eyes are burning!

During a recent job I had to cut out objectionable material from movie trailers that are going to to be available on cable TV. Here is the list of objectionable things they handed me. Basically I was making sure the trailers would be okay for a 5 year old to watch and wouldn't offend anyone. Some of these are pretty funny. My favorites are in bold and italics.

SEX
No nudity
No hands on breasts
No rubbing body parts
No thong bikinis
No excessive cleavage
No underside/or side of breast showing
Close-ups should not have appearance of nudity
No suggestively eating fruit...or whatever
No ecstasy expressions
No writhing
No headbacks, arch necked in obvious ecstasy
Not too many corsets, lingerie in a row
No lesbian scenes (implied or otherwise)
No bestiality
No necrophilia
No homosexual scenes

VIOLENCE
No bullets to bodies
No stabbing
No more than two kicks or punches in a row
No bodies on fire
No disgusting/gross dead bodies
Not too much blood on face
No pounding/smashing of heads
No head-crunching
No running over of body
No electric shocking
No examples of violence that would give someone an idea to do the same thing (i.e. throwing a blow dryer into a bathtub)
No guns to head
No knife carving into skin
No drilling to teeth or body parts
No blood oozing
No needles in skin
No drinking alcohol
No irresponsible calls for intoxication

Metal On Metal It's What I Crave!

Do yourself a favor and see this movie!!


In the mean time here is a song by Anvil to enjoy.


Here are the lyrics to Metal on Metal. YOU'RE WELCOME.
Metal on metal
It's what I crave
The louder the better
I'll turn in my grave

Metal on metal
Ears start to bleed
Cranking it up
Fulfilling my need

Metal on metal
Shakin the place
Blows back your hair
Caves in your face

Metal on metal
Feeling the grind
Up go the hammers
A victim to find

Metal on metal
Heads start to bang
Denim and leathers
Chains that clang

Keep on rockin
Keep on rockin
To this metal tonight
Keep on pounding
Keep on pounding
Join the heavy metal fight

Metal on metal
Gets you so high
Excitement and action
Won't pass you by

Metal on metal
The hardened breed
True to the end
A fire to feed

Metal on metal
Heat starts to rise
Kickin it out
With screams and cries

Metal on metal Never will die
Parties and concerts
Keep it alive

Metal on metal
It's the only way
To hell with tomorrow
Let's live for today

Someone Stoped Me On The Street and Asked If I Was Jewish

My life for the 1st month. (Thanks goes out to the Apt.308 crew for letting the living-room become my room)

My name is Dale, but you have to call me Dragon

If only it was a time machine



Cheers

I wish I was smart enough to do something like this

I especially like what he wrote on the "For" line

Thanks failblog.org
cheers!

NYC, home of the dumbest pet owners I've ever seen

I've seen some ridiculous shit while living in San Francisco, but apparently I had to wait until I moved to the other side of the country to see a woman pushing her small dog in a stroller specifically made for dogs. Yep you read that right, a stroller specifically made for dogs.

Exhibit A:



There is even a website called Just Pet Strollers. People can pay up to $300 for the stupid things. I've got to tip my hat the the makers of these strollers because they found a way to actually sell a product that is completely pointless. Man people are dumb!! Do you really think your dog wants to be pushed in a stroller? The answer is Fuck No! That dog would rather be on a leash dragging your stupid ass into on-coming traffic so he can be rid of you and go have some real fun running around in the park. It's important to realize that these people are actually out there and that they procreate. Perhaps we can hope that maybe they'll use the stroller for both their babies and canines. Maybe even at the same time. At least then the dog might have something to gnaw on while it's getting pointlessly pushed in a stroller.

Cheers.

Arod admits to steroids

Wow who could have seen this coming?

Oh wait, I DID!!!!! I've been saying it for years. When anyone would bring up Barry Bonds and steroids, I'd bring up Alex Rodriguez. I'm an SF Giants fan, and often I've found myself having many conversations that have gone something like this:
"How do you feel about Bonds doing steroids?"
I'd reply, "It sucks, but you know what? A lot of other players in baseball also do steroids, he's not the only one. So I don't have a problem with his homerun record."
"Yeah but there's going to be an Astrix with his record."
"Well then there should also be one for Arod because that guy definitely uses steroids as well." And people would be surprised that I would say that. Well a few weeks ago I was proven right. I've always been a big baseball fan so I get bummed when I hear about this crap. But what do you expect from a sport that claims to have a strong policy on drugs but then only gives players a slap on the wrist. Either baseball will clean up it's act or we'll get used to it. And yes I'm a little happy to see Arod give the proverbial finger to all those people who didn't believe me and thought he was clean.

One more thing, it takes more than lots of muscle to be a great hitter in baseball.

People Who Deserve It - Funny New Blog

http://peoplewhodeserveit.com/

HAHA My friend Nick turned me on to this one.

Grass Valley/Nevada City people are EVERYWHERE!!!

Chris and I went to a bar Brooklyn yesterday evening and this is the short version of the conversation between us and the bartender.

Us: What's in a Hot Toddy?
Bartender: Blah blah mixed with some blah blah.
Us: Ok and what's in an Irish Coffee?
Bartender: blah blah mixed with blah and blah. It originated at such and such a bar in San Francisco.
Us: Oh we know that bar, it's in the such and such neighborhood right next to the blah blah store.
Bartender: Oh are you from San Francisco?
Us: Yeah we used to live there.
Bartender: Where are you originally from?
Us: Northern California, Tahoe area.
Bartender: Oh cool... I'm from Nevada City.
Us: Bullshit. We're from Grass Valley! Did you go to NU?
Bartender: Yeah, graduated in 2000.
Us: We graduated in 2002!
Bartender: You kind of look familiar... And you'd look familiar if you didn't have a beard.

Then we ran through a handful of people that we both know. I went to junior high with some of this girl's really good friends and Chris and her might have been on the same cross country team.

So crazy, Nevada County people are everywhere, we roam in packs, watch your back.