Sunday, May 3, 2009

My ears and eyes are burning!


During a recent job I had to cut out objectionable material from movie trailers that are going to to be available on cable TV. Here is the list of objectionable things they handed me. Basically I was making sure the trailers would be okay for a 5 year old to watch and wouldn't offend anyone. Some of these are pretty funny. My favorites are in bold and italics.

SEX
No nudity
No hands on breasts
No rubbing body parts
No thong bikinis
No excessive cleavage
No underside/or side of breast showing
Close-ups should not have appearance of nudity
No suggestively eating fruit...or whatever
No ecstasy expressions
No writhing
No headbacks, arch necked in obvious ecstasy
Not too many corsets, lingerie in a row
No lesbian scenes (implied or otherwise)
No bestiality
No necrophilia
No homosexual scenes

VIOLENCE

No bullets to bodies
No stabbing
No more than two kicks or punches in a row
No bodies on fire
No disgusting/gross dead bodies
Not too much blood on face
No pounding/smashing of heads
No head-crunching
No running over of body
No electric shocking
No examples of violence that would give someone an idea to do the same thing (i.e. throwing a blow dryer into a bathtub)
No guns to head
No knife carving into skin
No drilling to teeth or body parts
No blood oozing
No needles in skin
No drinking alcohol
No irresponsible calls for intoxication

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